Loneliness, An abundance of

I recently read a piece by the beloved Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., it was some speech given at the christening of some library or other, the transcript of which is included in the collection of Vonnegut odds and ends entitled "Wampeters, Foma, and Granfalloons." Anyway, why the speech was given, or in whatever book the transcript was included is of scarce import; the real significance is in the speech itself. In it, Vonnegut relates his theory on sociological evolution. Basically, his idea is that humans evolved to live in communal societies, and the chemical composition of our brains has adapted to function best within this communal lifestyle, and thus the further alienated we become from this primeval, community-oriented society, the more chemically imbalanced we become, and therefore more depressed.

Well, take a look around.

Now, the verifiability of this theory (which, by the way, is, I'm sure, quite slim) is not important. But suppose for a moment that this is true. What sort of behaviours have arisen in response to this phenomenon? Friendship, partying, pen-pals, television and the like probably are all resultant behaviour patterns constructed in an attempt to assuage the effects of our alienation from each other. These sorts of things allow us to feel, however briefly, a kinship, a comradarie that is intrinsic to our biological heritage.

Well, it should be no big fucking mystery, then, why yours truly is depressed.

I haven't had a friend in over a year now, and I've forgotten how to feel. I've forgotten what it means to have a self, an identity. These things which were once taken for granted are now longed for.

I don't know.

Fuck it.

There's no way to fix it, so I suppose I should just stop bitching.