Awh lawd, jeezus,
I have come to a point in my life where i cannot see an end, I cannot believe in a light, a redemption...
There is no sense in seeing this "thing" through. I have been given so very many opportunities, everything I've ever wanted could've been given to me had I at least tried. Everything except to not have been born.
So many have done so many bad things in their life, things for which they deserve torture, or worse, and I am not culpable of abuse, yet I am condemned to suffer their punishments?
The punishment of loneliness.
I will not speak of myself beyond what my debilitating conscience will permit; I haven't done such bad things as my lot has punished me for.
I've done horrible things, things that make it hard for me to sleep, make it hard to live. I live every moment in remorse for all that I've done.
Others have committed worse crimes against humanity, though they live without regret. How is this just?
If only i could take responsibility for everyone, to have their blame and their faults laid upon my shoulders, perhaps I could be redeemed for this life that hasn't meant anything.
